Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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