Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
