Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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