if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize