you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
