just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
