home. puking in laundry basket.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
