Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
