after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
