we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize