i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
