no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the day after is always just damage control
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
