Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
