So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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