there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
