Ambien. No doubt about it.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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