Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
