My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize