That's intense
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you will always have a special place in my vag
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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