yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
