mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
