My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
