she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
