I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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