When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize