please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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