K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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