It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
