My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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