I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
