as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
