Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
