how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
