I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
