One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
