hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
whose ass print is on the piano?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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