All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
