am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
