who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
