My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
