we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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