So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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