Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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