I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
