You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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