dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize