Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
