think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize