last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
