Got a toothbrush?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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