This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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