My nipple is on Facebook.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize