i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am mentally ready for anal.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
