super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
