never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
