new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
