So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
