DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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