She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
