I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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