Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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