no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
